Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Her Daddy is in Heaven and Her God is Still Sovereign

Thirty one months ago, I penned these words in my personal journal.

They are words that poured out directly from my heart and emerged straight from the deepest portion of my soul.

They are words reflecting real and raw emotions that were swirling within our family.

We could have never imagined the full length of the road we were just beginning to travel.  The sharp curves we would skid through tilted on two wheels and the steep cliffs we would plummet from.  If I could turn back in time and have this conversation over again with our daughter, I wouldn't change a word.  God used His Holy Spirit to speak through me.  These were His words, not my own.

Even in the pain, God is Sovereign.  When we choose to focus on the “Why’s” of this life’s unfairness, we are missing the big picture.

Thirty one months later.  Her eyes have witnessed medical horrors that no child should have to see.  Her heart has been shattered by a loss that no child should ever have to experience.

Her Daddy is with Jesus…and her God is still sovereign!

{an entry from Lori’s journal dated February 28, 2012}

“I have looked into the tear-filled, greenish/brown eyes of a little girl as she asks me “WHY?”. 

Why does her Daddy have to have cancer? 

Why does God allow horrible diseases to attack good people, people like her Daddy who loves the Lord?

I felt inadequate to answer all the questions, but muttering a quick “Lord, give me wisdom”, I took her hand and began to share with this little girl I love so much...

“God is a big God and He can handle our questions and frustrations.  Maybe we should reconsider the question of “why”; after all, why not us and why not daddy?  What makes us so wonderful and entitled to be exempt from illness or struggles on this earth?  Remember, this earth is not our permanent home!  
(2 Corinthians 5:1; Hebrews 13:14; John 18:36) 

So if we have to ask “why?”, maybe it should be in relation to 
“WHY US, LORD?”...
Why would You choose us to love so extravagantly that You would send Your only Son as atonement for our sins? 

“WHY US, LORD?”...
Why would You choose to lavish upon us Your mercies anew with each morning?

“WHY US, LORD?”...
Why would You choose us to pour out Your many blessings on, blessing too numerous to count? 

We are not worthy; plain and simple.  Yet through His grace, He gives the free gift of salvation by faith.  His blood has covered our sin and all we have to do is repent and accept.

Accept His salvation.
Accept His love.
Accept His grace.
Accept His mercy.
Accept that He is in control in ways our minds cannot fathom.
Accept that He loves Daddy more than we are capable of.
Accept that we serve a perfect God while we live in an imperfect world.

These were tough words of truth and I pray they penetrate her little 11 year old heart.

Thank You Father God, for giving me words when I cannot formulate them on my own, and for teaching me through the very words You give me to use as I teach my children.  You are so good to us.  Amen.”

People have asked how we have remained faithful to God throughout such tragedy.  The struggles we have faced in this life and the heartache we continue to experience in the aftermath of losing my husband; they are very real.  We continue moving forward with our eyes focused on God.  Our faith is not shaken.  (You can read more about our faith here.)  

Our God is Sovereign and His ways are true.  (Deuteronomy 32:4; Psalm 18:30; Psalm 145:17)

We trust Him!   

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