Goal Accomplished

There are moments that I catch myself wondering about what Tim is doing in heaven.  Is he in nature like he so loved?  Who is he visiting with today?  Is he laughing that wonderful laugh of his?  Is he praying for the kids and me right now?

So many questions fill my mind. 

Thinking of him in heaven brings such joy to me.  My heart literally swells and catches with happiness, my lungs instinctively exhale, I get goose bumps on my arms and a smile on my face. 

I saw this beautiful fall photo on a friends FB page today and the question instantly popped into my head, “Who would I want to sit there with most for a short chat?”  First, unfiltered thought was Jesus.  Second thought was Tim. 

Hmmm would I rather sit with Jesus and hear how Tim is doing or sit with Tim and hear about Jesus?

And with that question, I knew for the first time that my heart is finally healing a tiny bit.  I would choose Jesus.  Don’t get me wrong, if I could have three chairs there that would be my preference.  But to sit with one or the other, I would want my Savior. 

I remember writing the blog post "Keeping Jesus First" on my first wedding anniversary without Tim.  It was two months to the day from his passing.  It can be found here: 

http://whenevenifevolves.blogspot.com/2014/03/keeping-jesus-first.html

And today, at the simple viewing of this beautiful photo, my heart realized that I have reached my goal of keeping Jesus first.  

Now, let’s not be unrealistic, we both know that it wasn't me that reached the goal, but God’s work within me that brought me to this point.  I am so very grateful to Him!