We hit a rough patch of heavy grief this past month in our home.
These things happen.
They take time to work through but the hard work is necessary for proper healing to occur.
Watching my children struggle through grief management wipes this Momma’s heart out.
When one of us goes down, the others can’t help but to follow a little bit. It is a natural part in the process of sharing different versions of the same loss under one roof.
Honestly, we were beginning to have better days more often than horrible ones. Then one of us suffered a tremendous break through and breakdown. With my ministry sabbatical nearing its end in a few weeks, I thought I should gather my pieces for the next quarter while I was in touch with the deep and ugly bits of grief.
It’s been a very emotional 48 hours for me. Selecting and polishing the entries from my personal journal that God would have me share with other widows. Creating the artwork pieces for each post, and reliving the pain associated with each story has also oddly been positive.
Without our tragic story, we couldn't proclaim the depth of our Saviors comfort to a hurting world. It is really that simple.
God has been faithful to comfort me. To whom much is given, much is expected.
"When someone has been given much, much will be required in return;
and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required."
While God has shown great love and compassion for me, He also expects me to proclaim all glory to His name. I am not walking this path of widowhood victoriously because of my own strength. It is His power that propels me forward and it is His comfort that gives me a safe spot to land when grief knocks me off my feet.
One way I reflect God's glory is through my writing and conference speaking for aNew Season/A Widow's Might Ministries. It isn't easy. Each of our team members have to repeatedly open ourselves up to "go there"; back to the raw pain and the brokenness time and time again as we encounter new widows who need to hear about how Christ longs to make their heart sing for joy again.
As I place the finishing touches on my upcoming four posts for the next quarter, I am reminded of 2 Corinthians 1:4.
"God comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others."
There will undoubtedly come a day when I will not be able to continually dip down into this deep well of pain and suffering. In order to continue my personal path of healing, I will have to move forward without re-accessing the immense sorrow. But right now? God has called me to minister in this way for this season.
I cherish your prayers as I prepare to re-enter this portion of my ministry journey.