"The Lord will fight for you you need only be still." Exodus 14:14
One of the beautiful things about walking the road of terminal illness and eventual death alongside the love of your life is the comforting promise that God never leaves us alone. (And yes, there are beautiful things in hardships.) He goes before us, walks beside us, hems us in from behind, and even at times carries us on this journey.
I have spent two years walking this road into widowhood, and two months at the current destination. Regardless of how each of us got here, we all have faced issues that tore at our hearts and completely overwhelmed us; and quite frankly, none of us want to be here. Widows know that life is not fair or easy. Life gets messy and painful. Bad things do happen to good and godly people.
Yet, our great God is a warrior! He will fight for us. These troubles we encounter in this life aren't much fun; but we have a God who promises to never leave our side (Joshua 1:9). He doesn't promise to always make things better (this side of heaven), but He does assure us that He will fight for us.
When we are willing to surrender our crushed hopes and dreams to our Savior, it allows us to see the amazing and active work He is doing around us and for us.
His focus is on the eternal. We were created for His glory. One of the many things I love about God is that He doesn't expect me to bring Him glory through my own strength. He is constantly at work in us, giving us the strength to accomplish His work.
“Being confident of this,
that He who began a good work in you
will carry it on to completion” Philippians 1:6
Becoming a widow doesn't erase the fact that God loves me or that His purpose is to use my life to bring Him glory. My circumstances can accentuate my calling, if I will allow them to. Let's face it, if I have to live this life (and clearly this is the life our Sovereign God has set before me), then I want to do it in a way that glorifies my Father in heaven.
You see, these past few years I should have felt all alone, isolated and terrified. And truth be told, there are times when fear still tries to take over my thoughts. But God is bigger and God is stronger and His Word is my shield. My eyes are focused on Him and the promise of His faithfulness.
We don’t always get to know where God is taking us in this life. Our job is to trust Him and to be obedient.
My love story with my husband didn't end the way I wanted it to. But you know what? God isn't done as the Author of my life. I long to bring glory to His name; I want to live life well!
With empty hands held high in surrender, I continue to rest in the assurance that “The Lord will fight for (me), I need only to be still”.
Father God, create Your quiet stillness within my soul. This path is harder than I could have ever imagined, but You are still good. You are still and always will be worthy of my praise. I want to be able to say that I am who You created me to be. I trust you through the pain on this journey. Thank You for fighting for me. Amen.