With God by my side, I knew I was an overcomer; and He knew
I would need encouragement to continue on this road.
I would literally administer a feeding through Tim’s tube
while he rested, climb the stairs to play video games with our kids, slip back
downstairs to check his blood pressure or get him more pain medication or
honestly sometimes only to make sure he was still breathing, then return to the
laughter of the upstairs den. I don’t
understand how anyone can endure this hurricane without God’s grace and the hope
we find in Him. God alone was my sole
source of strength.
He was my EVERYTHING!
Because this was my husband’s personal health battle, we
agreed to let him make the rules of how we would manage this season of our
lives. He chose to handle it without
allowing many people around. I sometimes
felt isolated and suffocated by the stress and loneliness of my role.
God sent special friendships to minister to me during this
time. Friends who respected Tim’s
wishes, and left us to our privacy, but still managed to be creative in ways to
bless and encourage me; they were my God-given lifeline to the outside world.
We spent months in the hospital, me sleeping in the chair
that made into a mini-cot (when I was lucky).
Most mornings I would find a text message to “please step out into the
hallway” where my favorite specialty coffee and oatmeal would be waiting with a
quick hug from a precious friend. In the
quiet stillness of the hospital room as Tim would spend periods unresponsive to
outside stimuli, I would find emails or private Facebook messages with prayers specifically for me.
On weeks where we were able to be at home, my mailbox would
hold all sorts of treasures from anonymous friends…encouraging cards filled
with Scripture or gift cards to ease the financial burden we were experiencing. We even returned one day to find a beautiful
fall wreath hung on our door. On two
occasions, our flower beds had gorgeous flowers planted by loving hands. Our church friends filled our freezer with groceries.
Our children’s school…
where do I even begin with the love
they poured out to us?
They came up with
the best idea I have ever seen to provide meals for us. Tim’s cancer took away his ability to swallow
and eventually his sense of smell. Until
he lost his sense of smell, I was very hesitant to cook meals. It seemed torturous to put him through that,
and Tim had been clear that he did not want company in our home, so having
meals delivered wasn't an option. The
school left an insulated food bag in the office and families took turns anonymously filling
it. This eliminated my need to spend
hours in the kitchen away from Tim, it minimized the aroma from cooking, it
skirted the issue of having people visit, and it did not require me to send
thank you cards.
I have found that no one knows the extent of the caregiver’s
role unless they have walked the road for themselves, and even then,
circumstances and degrees vary greatly.
If you have someone in your life that is a primary caregiver to a loved
one, seek out ways to minister to them.
You may be the only one who shows the hands and feet of Christ to them on
their journey. Be creative and bring
them little encouragements of love. You may not be able to truly empathize with them, but maybe from this glimpse inside my journey, you can better sympathize with them.
"Bear one another’s burdens,
and thus fulfill
the law of Christ.”
Galatians 6:2
I was beyond blessed in my role as caregiver. Beyond BLESSED by a grateful and brave husband! BEYOND blessed by Christians who helped bear my burden! I fear this isn't the case for many others on
this road.
I have committed to keep my eyes and
ears open for ways I can intentionally show Christ’s love to others who walk
this path. Will you join me? If so, I’d love to hear how. Let's be creative together as we bear one another's burdens!
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