Just Love Them

I am downstairs preparing dinner.

They are upstairs and I can hear their conversation and laughter. 

It is almost the end of another school year; their first full one with their Daddy in heaven.  In a few short weeks, they will walk out of their school for the last time as a high school freshman and a junior high eighth grader. 

I bought our son his first car this week. {sigh}

We will have two in high school when fall comes later this year. 

I recently texted my sister that it is going too quickly and I can’t accept that in four years they will both be in college.  I told her “I have so much more I want to teach them.  How will I fit it all in?”

Then today, I began realizing that my teaching years are pretty much over.  What more is there to instruct them on? 

They’ve learned

to use proper hygiene,

to take care of their property,

to be kind to others,

to respect those in authority over them,

and

to protect their hearts until they are ready to share them with someone special.

They’ve been told

to pick up after themselves,

to be polite,

to work hard in their studies,

to be responsibly cautious,

and

that good sportsmanship is more important than winning.

They’ve seen what it looks like  

to lean hard into Jesus,

to walk with integrity,

to be disciplined with their time in God’s Word,

and

to show love through acts of service.

They’ve witnessed

the sacrificial love of two devoted parents,

the living out of marriage vows,

the hard and ugly of cancer,

and

the pain of death.

They’ve experienced

the emptiness of grief,

the braveness of continuing to put one foot in front of the other,

and

the beauty of God’s grace in His promise to never leave us alone.

They’ve lived more in their short lives than many who are three times their age.

Our reality is…if we haven’t taught them what they need to know by now, we’ve already failed them.  I’ve decided, instead of trying to cram more instruction into them, what I really want to do in these four years is to soak up the essence of who they are.  They’ve been trained well.  They will be wildly successful Jesus lovers.  Will I still need to offer direction?  Sure, that’s what parents do.  But the deep instructing, it’s been done. 

Now I want to enjoy them.  Guiding them when necessary, but allowing them to make their own decisions and mistakes.  I want to cherish their individuality and cheer for them as I observe Jesus creating them into who He desires them to be. 

Tim and I always said that the hard work of parenting is in the primary years.  We were strict; setting clear boundaries and expectations, being structured and dependable in our parenting.  Diligence in the early years has paved the way for an easier and more enjoyable time through the adolescent ones.  And now they are miniature-borderline-adults.  Just, WOW.   

I can sum up my current responsibility in two words:  LOVE THEM. 

I just want to love them well and in that, they will be prepared for their future.