This man...

 This man...

I love being in love. 

Throughout my life, during decades of marriage as well as years of singleness; I’ve always been a huge fan of love stories.

I’ve been blessed far beyond what I deserve by being loved well. Loved perfectly and unconditionally by my gracious Heavenly Father. Loved securely by a devoted husband. Loved through my failures and successes by two incredible children. Loved intensely by supportive parents and siblings. Loved and truly known in deep friendship. 

And now, being loved by this man...I tear up at the privilege. 

He has opened parts of my heart that were long ago abandoned; unlocked new joys within me. He encourages me to be the best and kindest version of myself. He brings all good things into my life. Our life together is filled with laughter (usually at my expense which is refreshing and needed 🤣). He makes me want to tuck tighter under the wing of my Savior so I can pour deeper love into him and our combined five children. 

When God started opening my heart to the possibility of dating again, I was incredibly reluctant and hesitant. I didn’t want to settle and I was scared of being vulnerable. I remember telling God (and close friends) that what I really wanted was the comfort of a decades-long love affair without having to invest twenty years to get there again. 

And we laughed. 

Life doesn’t work that way. Or it isn’t supposed to. 

But God.

What He has given me with this man blows my mind, humbles me, and fulfills dreams I didn’t even know to dream!

I am most relaxed when in his presence. Stress flees with one long hug from his strong arms. A bad attitude vanishes with one smirk from his dimpled smile. A single glance from his blue eyes captivates me and pastes a cheesy smile across my face. His heart is warm. His mind is brilliant. He challenges and supports me. He makes me feel safe. And mercy, with that first kiss I was completely undone. 

This love did not complete me. It did not heal me. God did the tedious work of binding up the tattered edges of my heart in the years before I met this man. My Lord was tirelessly and patiently preparing me for this time and this marriage. With this man. 

What this love has done is magnify my happiness. It has enhanced my already wonderful life. It has revealed new facets of my heart.

This love with this man; it has transformed me for the better.

I’m not sure why I’m the least bit surprised this love has the comfort of a life long relationship, without having put in the decades to get here. 

You’d think by the age of forty nine I’d know my Redeemer’s generosity and expect His attention to the details of my heart’s desire.

Yet He continually amazes me.

God is such a loving Father and I am one overwhelmingly grateful child.