Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Birthday Reflections October 3, 2015

Forty-four years ago today I was born.
Twenty-two years ago today I celebrated this day with a new boyfriend who would turn out to be my husband.
Fifteen years ago today I was freshly home from the hospital and now a mother of two.  One 16-month old toddler and one 6-day old preemie.
Four years ago today was my last passionate kiss with my husband, as his sore throat continued to worsen and the cancer ran rampant.
Three years ago today I sat surrounded by friends and family as Tim underwent a gruesome 23 hour surgery as our last tiny chance at chasing the healing that would not be ours.
One year ago today I celebrated my first birthday in over two decades without him by my side.
Today, the kids and I went to our new home and wrote Scripture on the foundation and framing. We prayed over it and dedicated it to the Lord with extremely grateful hearts for the ability to have a safe place to lay our heads at night and make new family memories.
Today has been bittersweet for me. Lots of joyful memories, fun new laughter, and lots of tears. Lots and lots of tears. I didn't expect this intense grief wave today, but as Tim would say, "It is what it is."
Thank you for the birthday wishes. I am blessed by a God who loves me deeply, provides friends to walk alongside of me in this life, and carries me on the rough days. I am covered by His feathers; tucked safely under the refuge of His wings.
Love is a gift that transcends time and location. I know to the marrow of my bones that I am loved by Tim Streller. Today, I just found myself wishing I could experience that love in the flesh again for a long hug.
Tonight, I rest my head on my pillow and have happy thoughts. I am excited for the future of our family. I am grateful. Tears will leak and grief will overtake me at times, but the laughter always returns and joy fills me up again.
God is good. Here is to whatever God has in store for me in this next year of life. May I live it well and glorify Him!

I used Tim's Bible to copy Scripture onto the foundation.

1 comment:

  1. "Love is a gift that transcends time and location."

    Dear Lori ~ Happy Birthday to you dear one.

    I loved reading that you and your sons wrote scripture on foundation and framing of your new home and prayed over it too. That really touches my heart.

    Love doesn't end, it grows forever and ever.

    Love, hugs & prayers ~ FlowerLady