Lessons in True Love

I have so much I want my kids to know about love. 

True love, the kind of love that lasts a lifetime.

I want them to know that it doesn't just “happen”.  True love is something you work for.  It’s a choice. 

I want them to understand that one day someone special will catch their eye.  They will “fall in love”. 

And it truly will feel like a complete “cannot-catch-my-breath” free fall.  

Their thoughts will be consumed with this person.  It will be hard to concentrate on much else.  This person will steal their hearts affections. 

They will be giddy and silly together. 

These feelings are fun and exciting.  They are infatuation.

Infatuation can be the beginning of love; but true love is so much more.

The love they want to watch for.  The love they want to wait for.  This love serves.  It puts others first.  It respects and protects.

I need them to understand that they have a responsibility to let God guide them.  

We can’t always control who catches our eye, but we can control who we give our heart to. 

I want them to be cautious in giving their heart away; to choose wisely. 

True love grows.  It works through the struggles.  It stays and discusses hurt feelings instead of storming off.  It gives its beloved the benefit of the doubt. 

Loving someone in this way isn't always easy. 

It requires the denial of self and the laying down of pride. 

It demands we “show” our love through our actions not just our words. 

And I also want them to know that when you put in the hard work, when you choose to use “love” as a verb…a beautiful relationship will develop.

One that still includes the infatuation, but has a depth of intimacy that is so much more.

The courtship and the dating, the engagement and the wedding day, the honeymoon and the first year; they will be thrilling. 

But the day in and day out of living,

the dishes in the sink,

the laundry on the couch,

the tough career decisions,

and the living out of their marriage vows…

that’s where the real falling in love occurs.

The years will pile upon themselves and their diligence of choosing to constantly work on loving will be a gorgeous foundation for their family. 

It will be what is remembered when one of them goes to heaven before the other. 

It will be what counted most.