We can't wait for the grief to stop in order to live again. Grief is never going away, it will never cease and that has to be okay. The world wants us to "get over" losing someone. We won't; but we can choose to keep living and to not stall out in a victim mentality. God will make a beautiful life out of our willing obedience.
It takes small decisions along the way to make big changes.
Little decisions like looking at the “now” we are in, instead of reliving or longing for the past over and over in our minds.
Little decisions like selecting a Scripture to meditate on for the day or week. (We use note cards and a key ring binder to keep verses we are memorizing easily accessible.)
Little decisions like serving others. Taking our constant focus off of ourselves and opening our eyes, ears and hearts to others around us.
Each of these examples (and there are so very many more), will propel us in the right direction of living again.
There was a line in the children's movie The Crood's that went something like this,
"That's not living, that's just trying not to die."
Hmmm....There is a difference.
I want my life to be more than just an existence or merely an effort to not die. I want to LIVE; to experience LIFE; to thrive in this journey God has laid out before me. I never want to lose my laughter.
More importantly, I never want my kids to lose theirs. I long for them to one day look back on how we are navigating life with our grief and be able to say "God led us and we followed well". I want them to be proud of the fact that we chose to keep living and did not lock ourselves away in the chains of sorrow. That through God’s strength we allowed ourselves to experience the sorrow without allowing it to permanently overtake us.
Let’s face it the sorrow will always be with us. This loss isn't something we will ever “get over”. Sorrow is unavoidable; but we do not have to give it the power to rule over us. Only God holds that position of power and in Him there is joy!
So today, I am remembering to make the small decision to choose Him; to choose His joy. I am confident that as I create the habit of continually choosing God, His joy will make big changes in the direction of my family's destination.